I've been good so far Terry ain't I?
I don't think I need to add to your grief, suffice to say both yourself and your good lady have my most sincere sympathies for even considering such an object.
I purchased for laugh a blank in pink plastic at the Basingstoke meeting.
Today I sprayed the tubes white, drilled and cut the blank, glued the tubes in and threw it in the bin. I just couldn't bring myself to show it my lovely lathe.