• Thanks for visiting The Penturners Forum today.

    There are many features and resources that currently you are unable to see or access, either because you're not yet registered, or if you're already registered, because you're not logged in.

    To gain full access to the forum, please log in or register now. Registration is completely free, it only takes a few seconds, and you can join our well established community of like-minded pen makers.

For the Golfers out there - not politically correct !

PhillH

Little Grandad
Registered
Joined
Jun 18, 2013
Posts
3,436
Location
Solihull - A Tyke in Exile
First Name
Phill
A Sally Gunnell - ugly runner
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
A Mrs Patel - ugly, but a good worker
An elephant's arse - high and shi**y
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A sister in law – youre up there but you know you shouldn’t be
 

Grump

Grand Master
Joined
Aug 17, 2013
Posts
10,510
Location
Stevenage
First Name
Brian
There's a few I hadn't heard when I played golf.
Sadly my golf days are over I certainly wouldn't play to 5 handicap any more init?
Nice touch, brought back some memories cheers.
 

Penpal

Grand Master
Joined
May 26, 2013
Posts
25,342
Location
Canberra AUSTRALIA
First Name
Peter
As a young fella I used to caddy for our huge Easter Tournament doing at least two rounds a day would have loved that vernacular then no trolleys plus wet weather gear for the pros plus it seemed the kitchen sink.

Peter.:thumbs:
 


Write your reply...
Warning! This thread has not had any replies for over a year. You are welcome to post a reply here, but it might be better to start a new thread (and maybe include a link to this one if you need to).
Top