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Great chieftain of the pudding-race

Phil Dart

Moderator
Executive Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2014
Posts
5,491
Location
Colebrooke, Devon
First Name
Phil
That'll mean something to a lot of members (and be a complete mystery to many others)

Enjoy a dram and any celebrations you may be having - I intend to!!
 

yorkshireman

Wood Rat
Executive Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2013
Posts
5,206
Location
wrexham
First Name
Keith
Have a good night Phil mate. Unfortunately the wife hates haggis so the only time I get to eat it is when we are on holiday in Scotland. As a matter of fact we've just been discussing our next journey north. We are going to do the coast again. Up the west and down the east. We'll be passing you either in may or September.
 

bigbob

Graduate Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2014
Posts
557
Location
Inverness
First Name
Bob
Am away out with the wife and have some more ammunition when we get home in the form of Highland Park not that we drink much.
 

flexi

Executive Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2014
Posts
6,457
Location
Maidstone
First Name
mark
If your having a wee dram tonight Phil.....dont forget to send out my order in the morning:wink:sob:
No mate enjoy, i will be partakeing in a bit o haggis....not a dram though...it gives me headaches...
 

Phil Dart

Moderator
Executive Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2014
Posts
5,491
Location
Colebrooke, Devon
First Name
Phil
If your having a wee dram tonight Phil.....dont forget to send out my order in the morning:wink:sob:
No mate enjoy, i will be partakeing in a bit o haggis....not a dram though...it gives me headaches...
If you want me to send you an order in the morning, you'll have to place one first Mark. Nice try though. Were you hoping I'd already started on the ol' sauce and I wouldn't notice?:drunked:
 

fortress

Registered
Joined
Apr 11, 2016
Posts
5,178
Location
Astley
First Name
John
There is no such uncertainty as a sure thing. RB. have a wonderful evening one and all. :banana::banana:
 

Scots Bill

Registered
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Posts
905
Location
North Yorkshire
First Name
Bill
Enjoy one and all. When a head chef the "proper haggis burst, so for a Burns night, the Caledonian society. The rst of the haggis was made in beef casings, to be portioned onto plates. So when the piper was leading the way (slow march) all around the dining tables I was following with the long haggis held above my head. Fine, but it burst and as it oozed out I manfully tried to hold the scalding mixture in with my hand. At last at the main man I dumped the salver in front of him.
As he began to address the haggis he realised it was already "dead". The head waiter following had a large glass of the water of life, well three, one for the dirk stabbing guy, one for the piper and one for me. I was ever so glad of that. Hand was a mess, big blister. Highland Park, I have had more than my share.
Tee total now, not before time my wife mutters! :rolling:
 

wm460

Grand Master
Joined
Mar 16, 2013
Posts
23,113
Location
Tennant Creek, Northern Territory, Australia.
First Name
Mark
Tried haggis once quite enjoyed it, funny all the Scots I know none of them can make it.:nooidea:


Address to a Haggis
By Robert Burns

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis
 

wm460

Grand Master
Joined
Mar 16, 2013
Posts
23,113
Location
Tennant Creek, Northern Territory, Australia.
First Name
Mark
Address to a Haggis Translation
as noone can understand the Scots anyway.:tongue::face::funny:

Fair and full is your honest, jolly face,
Great chieftain of the sausage race!
Above them all you take your place,
Stomach, tripe, or intestines:
Well are you worthy of a grace
As long as my arm.

The groaning trencher there you fill,
Your buttocks like a distant hill,
Your pin would help to mend a mill
In time of need,
While through your pores the dews distill
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour wipe,
And cut you up with ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like any ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm steaming, rich!

Then spoon for spoon, the stretch and strive:
Devil take the hindmost, on they drive,
Till all their well swollen bellies by-and-by
Are bent like drums;
Then old head of the table, most like to burst,
'The grace!' hums.

Is there that over his French ragout,
Or olio that would sicken a sow,
Or fricassee would make her vomit
With perfect disgust,
Looks down with sneering, scornful view
On such a dinner?

Poor devil! see him over his trash,
As feeble as a withered rush,
His thin legs a good whip-lash,
His fist a nut;
Through bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his ample fist a blade,
He'll make it whistle;
And legs, and arms, and heads will cut off
Like the heads of thistles.

You powers, who make mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill of fare,
Old Scotland wants no watery stuff,
That splashes in small wooden dishes;
But if you wish her grateful prayer,
Give her [Scotland] a Haggis!
 

Buckeye

ペンメーカー
Executive Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2013
Posts
9,697
Location
UK
First Name
Peter
The Haggis Poem

Much to his dad and mum's dismay
Horace ate himself one day
He didn't stop to say his grace
He just sat down and ate his face
"We can't have this!" his dad declared
"If that lad's ate he should be shared"
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh foolish child!" the father mourned
"You could have deep-fried those with prawns,
Some parsely and some tartar sauce..."
But H was on his second course;
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue
"To think I raised himn from the cot
And now he's gone to scoff the lot!"
His mother cried what shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept her son was seen
To eat his head his heart his spleen
And there he lay, a boy no more
Just a stomach on the floor...
None the less since it was his
They ate it - and that's what haggis is

From Monty Python.

Peter
 
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