• Thanks for visiting The Penturners Forum today.

    There are many features and resources that currently you are unable to see or access, either because you're not yet registered, or if you're already registered, because you're not logged in.

    To gain full access to the forum, please log in or register now. Registration is completely free, it only takes a few seconds, and you can join our well established community of like-minded pen makers.

Ordering a Pizza in 2022

Dalboy

Dalboy

Executive Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2014
Posts
7,708
Location
Kent
First Name
Derek
CALLER:

Is this Pizza Hut?



GOOGLE:

No sir, it's Google Pizza.



CALLER:

I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.



GOOGLE:

No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.



CALLER:

OK. I would like to order a pizza.



GOOGLE:

Do you want your usual, sir?



CALLER:

My usual? You know me?



GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you

ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni,

mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.



CALLER:

Super! That’s what I’ll have.



GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,

sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?



CALLER:

What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!



GOOGLE:

Your cholesterol is not good, sir.



CALLER:

How the hell do you know that?



GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.



CALLER:

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take

medication for my cholesterol.



GOOGLE:

Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According

to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at

Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.



CALLER:

I bought more from another Pharmacy.



GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.



CALLER:

I paid in cash.



GOOGLE:

But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.



CALLER:

I have other sources of cash.



GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using

an undeclared income source, which is against the law!



CALLER:

WHAT THE HELL!



GOOGLE:

I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of

helping you.



CALLER:

Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp

and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where

there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.



GOOGLE:

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6

weeks ago...



Welcome to the future
 
F

Frederick

Registered
Joined
Apr 8, 2018
Posts
871
Location
Chatham
First Name
Frederick
Yep! that's about right. Big brother is watching you, everything you do, buy and (when allowed) visit is monitored. I hate Facebook, Twitter and the like, I don't use them. Don't mind Penmakers though, this is different.

Cheers
Frederick
 
pittswood

pittswood

Fellow
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Posts
1,321
Location
Rhigos, South Wales
First Name
Kelvin
Big brother has been watching you for years, mobile phones, credit cards, passports, internet, bank statements, face recognition, car number plates, yellow covid cards, even your library cards. It's the future of the world.
Kelvin
 
Phil Dart

Phil Dart

Moderator
Executive Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2014
Posts
5,491
Location
Colebrooke, Devon
First Name
Phil
All too true it seems.

Oh, and Derek, according to the Forum records, you need to buy some more loo roll fairly soon.
 
Warning! This thread has not had any replies for over a year. You are welcome to post a reply here, but it might be better to start a new thread (and maybe include a link to this one if you need to).
Top